a new year's surprise

New Year's day found me waking up at my parent's home. I didn't sleep in super late, being the lame adult I've turned in to, I didn't even stay awake for the ball to drop. I was exhausted! The weekend had been full of celebrating Christmas with my side of the family, running here and there, and getting some shopping in with my favorite shopping partner (my mama). Ben had gone home early due to some rumors of snow since he had to be ready to plow. I didn't stay long on New Year's before heading home myself. Before I left, my mom and I had a sweet time of prayer, for all the transitions we knew and didn't know were coming our way in the following year. Looking back, this makes my heart even more giddy not knowing what even that day would entail.

I met Ben at his aunt's house on my way home for some New Year's chili. He and some of his family had been there all day, so after we ate we headed for home. Randomly, I had remembered that my monthly "friend" had not paid her visit in a normal timely manor, which isn't all that unusual for me. But for some reason, it was on my mind to take a test that evening.

Unless you know what it's like to take those tests and come up empty-handed every single time, even though you're technically "late", month after month for literally years, you might not understand how completely unaware I was at the following moments to come.

I was getting ready for bed, and I decided to test. I had already reasoned in my mind that I was sure I wasn't pregnant, but even if I was, it was night and you're supposed to test in the morning. I tested anyways. For anyone that hasn't seen a pregnancy test work, you use it and then watch for two lines. The first line is the "you're pregnant!" line, the second is the line that you always have, pregnant or not, they call it the "test" line. I've only ever seen the second line. To my utter shock and amazement, this time was different, the first line started to appear well before the test line did. I was in shock. I couldn't move. What?! Ben started to walk into the bathroom and I quickly told him he could not come in. I took another test, one that was a little more expensive in case my dollar tree test was crummy. Same results. Fastest minutes of my life.

I wanted to wait and tell Ben in a cute way, but I was so much in shock I didn't know what else to do or how to buy time! I walked out with the two tests in hand. I gave them to him. He emotionally yelled, "What does this mean?!" And I whispered, "I'm pregnant." Before I could say anything else he whisked me up in his arms and started jumping up and down and spinning around and rejoicing. Tears of joy streamed down my face.

We found out on New Year's Day, 2013, that God has blessed us with a child, and we are parents! God had answered our prayers!! I'm still in disbelief sometimes. Our first doctor's appointment in January proved to me that there really was a baby in there. Strong heartbeat, arms and legs growing. It was breathtaking. Bless the LORD o my soul!!!!!!!!!!

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him."
I Samuel 1:27

Part 2: That moment when...

My last post talked about that moment when you know you should do something, but you really aren't feeling it and would rather do anything and everything else, which usually means you should do it all that much more? That's where I was on Saturday.

This weekend was different in that Ben was out of town. He went camping with two of his college friends, so I decided to not make a lot of plans, but instead to have a weekend retreat with the Lord by myself. It was wonderful.

Saturday was a b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l day. I kept feeling like I wanted to go run, but the longer I waited the more I kept procrastinating to not have to. It's crazy because I LOVE running! I feel like it is such a breath of fresh air to my soul when I get to go, because lately it hasn't been often. Then I felt like the Lord was poking at me to go. I waited until I could either leave then and go, or miss my chance because of something I had going on that night. Part of it was that it had been so long (a week, but it feels long when you're used to going almost every day!), I was wondering if it was even worth going.

But, I felt the Lord's gentle poking at my heart. And I decided to give it a go. I decided to trust Him, that maybe because my flesh so didn't want to go, it meant my spirit needed it all the more. And it was joyous. The Lord knew that would be just what I needed and some sweet time shared with Him. I know there's a lot of times I would have busied myself with other things, but I was .so.thankful. for the time. Crazy how something so little, something so everyday grew my faith. He ALWAYS knows what is best; He has NEVER let me down.

That moment when...

you really don't feel like doing something, which means you should do it all the more? Like maybe the Holy Spirit is poking at you, ever so nicely of course. That's where I'm at right now. I have been doing everything to avoid doing that one thing, oh for the past hour or so. And the crazy thing is, I thoroughly enjoy the thing! So I'm going to go do it by faith, trusting that it will be GOOD. More to come later ...

Pinterest Muffins

I am a BIG fan of Pinterest. For pretty much everything, but especially for recipes. I like that I don't have to bookmark or print out all of the new and delicious-looking recipes that I want to try and may never end up making.

Anywho, when we have people coming to stay with us, I like to have as much done ahead of time meal-wise as possible. I like easy, healthy, and fast. SO! When I stumbled upon this recipe, I knew I had to give it a whirl. It's SUPER simple and you even mix it all in a blender, which makes it way easy to pour into the muffin pan!

So here it is, originally from http://travisjessjones.blogspot.com/2012/03/banana-oatmeal-muffins.html.[Check out her site, she's cute!]

Ingredients:

-1 Cup of plain, low fat, Greek yogurt
-2 Eggs
-3/4 Cup Sugar or sweetener of choice
-2 Bananas
-1 1/2 tsp Baking powder
-1/2 tsp Baking soda
-2 1/2 Cups of Oats (the old-fashioned kind)

*After I made these the first time, I decided to switch it up a bit!
Yogurt: I have used both Greek yogurt and regular at different times, and there hasn't seemed to be a difference!
Sweetener: I also have used honey instead of sugar and they were still great!
Bananas: Instead of two bananas, I put in one banana and some blueberries! The blueberries were a bit overwhelming, but they were still good. I think they're prettier than the plain ones :)

Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Spray muffin tins with non-stick cooking spray.
2. Put all of the ingredients in the blender and blend until oats are smooth. Put the oats in very last!

3. Pour the batter into the muffin pans and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.
4. Enjoy! [Yields 12-14 muffins]

*Side note: The second time I made these, I made two batches in a row. The second batch came out a little darker on the sides, not sure why, but thought maybe it was because of the temperature of the pan, since I didn't let it cool between batches... Not sure!

city girl . turned . country

A lot has changed since I've stopped posting on our blog. One major change: I am now a farmer. Yup, f-a-r-m-e-r. Not so much with crops, and definitely on the small side, but yeah, like Old MacDonald.

Ben's always been a farmer at heart, and had a lot of experience growing up with one of his friends who had cows and pigs. He even showed some of the animals at fairs. Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, the only time I ever experienced farm animals was when we visited my family in Kentucky or when we worked on a farm as part of a missions trip, but even then we didn't do much as far as the animals went. So this has been quite the adventure for me! Ben, on the other hand, has just come alive with it all. BUT, we have both learned a lot!

At first, it was just quite a few chickens.

Chicks, actually. (They are full grown in the picture). They were cute and fluffy and oh so tiny! Black, white, and yellow/red. We had some that are bread for meat, and some that are good egg layers. At this point, I didn't necessarily feel like a farmer. Most anyone can have chickens.

Then, we got Sunny and Payday. The pigs.

They are brothers. They were little and slept a lot, and to my surprise, they really didn't smell! Pigs are actually some of the cleanest animals. They are very careful of where they go to the bathroom, and only roll around in mud because they cannot sweat so it cools them off! Their pen was behind our garage, so beyond going to visit them, you couldn't even tell they were there. After the pigs, I felt a little more legitimate, not just anyone can have pigs on their property!

But what truly sealed the deal, what made it very clear that I was a farmer, was when I found myself waking up at 5am, in the dark, before work, putting on my boots, bundling up, grabbing a pail, and for the first time milking one of our animals. The moment I walked outside was when it hit me. There was no doubt in my mind: we are farmers with a capital F.

Our property isn't big enough to sustain a cow because of how much grass they eat, so the answer to getting our own milk and making our own cheese was goats! Nigerian dwarf goats actually. They need a lot less grass but give out a lot of milk for how little they are. We started out with Dolly,

but have since added Africa, Gus, and Miss Boss.

Thankfully, though, we have gotten better and learned a lot, and there are no more 5am morning milkings at our house :)

So, this farming thing, it's our new adventure. And, it's definitely growing on me.

never early, never late. just perfect.

His timing is perfect. It is never early, never late. Always just right on time.

Indiana's winter had slim-to-no snow, and this summer we have been declared a disaster area because of the intense drought we're facing. It has been a crazy year for us, owning a company that relies on income from plowing (needing snow) and mowing (needing rain) to supply our income to pay bills, buy groceries, etc.
As August rolled around we had a pretty big bill we were facing. We had an extension for it from April, hoping that since there wasn't much snow, maybe summer would leave us in a better place financially. It hadn't. We had some money in savings, but it wasn't close to what we needed.
We chose (sometimes over and over) faith; to believe that our Father would take care of us. He promises to take care of His children, that we should not be concerned or worried with circumstances or people or ANYTHING.
He's got it. He's never in heaven pacing the clouds, biting His nails, wondering what to do next or unsure of what is coming. He's got this, with his feet kicked up. And He loves us. The One who created this world, created each of us, and He loves us!
As August wore on, we couldn't see how this would all come together. There weren't pieces that we could pull together ourselves. The only option seemed to be that we would have to put it on a credit card. But we have been working SO hard at getting out of debt?! Could this really be what the Lord had planned?! But as the due date drew nearer, things started coming together in a way that only He could make it happen...

A $100 bill in the mail. No name, no signature, nothing hand-written that we could recognize from someone we knew. Could have been sent right from Heaven :) This was just the kick-off.

Ben got a part-time job. Randomly stumbled upon it on Craigslist. 3 days a week, GREAT pay. Super cool boss. Well guess what? He ended up working there 5 days a week for the first month.

I was scheduled to get paid 5 times in August.

It STORMED! It rained and rained and the wind was crazy and trees were blown over in yards of Ben's customers. Tree removal jobs are some of the highest paying jobs in landscaping! AND because of the rain, mowing was back on a mostly normal scheduled. It's been like spring around here again!

Premier - I sell Premier Designs jewelry. For whatever reason, Ben decided to look at my account. There was $200 randomly in my account!

We got a "reminder" of our bill, the due date had changed to two days later (a Friday that I got paid!), and was $50 less than the original bill. What?!

On and on, bits and pieces came together, and we overnighted the check and had enough money to pay what we needed to. Our Amazing Father brought it together right.on.time. I felt so blessed, so taken care of. This was a HUGE deal for us.
Sometimes faith is moving ahead where God wants us to go, sometimes faith is waiting on Him. We chose faith and were able to live at peace with whatever happened come August. And we waited. We were able to let it be at the feet of Jesus and watch Him faithfully take care of our needs without scrambling and worrying. He VERY practially met us where we were and grew our faith so amazingly. What a gift!

It's been a while..

So to say it's been a while, would probably be an understatement. A lot has happened since I last posted in April 2011... I've been debating on returning to the blogging world. So we'll see. Hopefully I'll be back with more pictures and things to share.

Turks&Caicos

We were BLESSED, truly blessed, to go on a trip with my parents this spring to a little island (and by little I mean LITTLE: there is ONE runway at the airport, you land, and then U-turn on the same strip to get back to the airport. yeah, little.) called Providinciales. It is one of the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Carribean, right by Cuba. It is breath-takingly beautiful, truly. Maybe the most beautiful water I have ever seen in my entire life - and God didn't have to do that. He didn't have to make things beautiful or in color or anything. But He did. And He wants us to enjoy it. That's who He is.
God really used this time to refresh both Ben and I. We had lots of time relaxing, doing fun things together (snorkeling, swimming, para-sailing), and doing some ministry with people we grew to love very quickly. They encouraged our hearts as they loved God with their lives and worshipped Him.
Isn't it neat to think about the body of Christ around the world, and how in meeting them there is an instantaneous bond/love between us because of our place as God's sons and daughters?!
Here are some highlight pictures:

"Feed my sheep."

This past Friday was the second official meeting of our Home Groups, which we host at our home. It has been a great time of deep fellowship, discussing applications of God's Word, and praying together.
This past Friday we discussed John, chapter 21. Wow, talk about something I had never seen or understood before. The background is this: Christ's followers, the 12 disciples, are broken. Christ has just been crucified. The man they dedicated to following with their lives, the man that they gave up everything for, was just killed. They have scattered and fled and hid, Peter has even denied knowing Christ 3 times. Peter decides to go fishing. I can just imagine him thinking, I don't know what's going on anymore, so I'm going back to what I DO know, what I DO understand : fishing. Who's with me? So him and some of the disciples go fishing, if you know the story, they didn't have much luck.
Christ appears on the shore, and then lovingly recommends that they try the other side after they tell Him that they haven't caught anything. The nets become so full that they couldn't even bring it in! Then, Peter knew it was Christ. He jumped out of the boat and swam to meet Him.
Christ prepares breakfast for them. PAUSE. Christ has just appeared to them since dying on the cross, and He makes breakfast for them. For the people that denied Him and ran away. He wants them to come, rest, sit and eat. Isn't that what He always wants first and foremost? That would would just BE with Him? Whoa.
Unpause.
Christ Then he directs his conversation to Peter - Peter, do you love (agapae - God's love) me? Peter answers - Lord you know I love (phileo - brotherly love) you. Christ replies - feed my sheep. Christ asks again do you agapae me? Same answer, phileo. Same reponse to Peter - feed my sheep. Third time - Peter, do you phileo me? Peter answers, yes Lord, you know I love you. Same response: feed my sheep.
The take away is this - all Peter could muster up was phileo love. Brotherly love. He couldn't claim that he had agapae love for Christ, unconditional love, after just denying him 3 times. But the third time Christ meets Peter where he is and says even if you can't muster up agapae love for me, even if you are in a pit because of what has happened recently, even if you feel lost and confused, even THEN - feed my sheep. Pour out to others. Take care of MY people.
Christ gives Peter the solution, the key: don't go back to fishing, to your old ways, to where you are comfortable. Don't try and fix yourself by focusing on yourself. Don't go back to your old life because you are in despair... take care of my people. Just feed my sheep.
That is what he offers Peter. Peter, don't stay in that hole; don't hide; He lovingly tells Peter to pour himself out into His people - for that's how he will heal. That is where the abundant life is. Continue to pour out onto others. This is God's plan for us through Christ.

User *ERROR

Last night, I was vacuuming our hardwood floors. I should probably say, I was trying to vacuum them. At first, I thought it was my imagination. But then, all of a sudden, I saw it happen with my own eyes.
I would vacuum over something, and it would fly back and hit my feet! I tried again and again, only to get the same result! EW!
I was totally grossed out. Then I got frustrated that our "stupid vacuum" wasn't working. I kind of threw a mini-fit, with the vacuum still on and thinking Ben probably couldn't hear me? Partially I was just being dramatic and in the mood to be dramatic, which doesn't happen all that often.
I plopped down in my chair in our office, and Ben turns around from the computer and says, "So, you wanna talk about it?" He had definitely heard my fit-throwing.
He then got up, took one look at the vacuum and instantly found the problem. Do you know what the problem was? I needed to empty the plastic thing that holds all of the junk the vacuum picks up.
So maybe the vacuum isn't so "stupid" after all. Oops. Talk about a user error! Haha :)

iMpAcT

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Charles R. Swindoll

It will MaKe or BrEaK you, where you are, and the people around you. Wow, what a challenge to my heart.

in lieu of LOVE.and.Valentine's Day

REAL love
“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."
-C.S. Lewis

a CHALLENGE for staying in LOVE
"Are you in love with your husband? Not, Do you love him? I know you do. He has been around a long time, and you're used to him. He is the father of your children. But are you in love with him? How long has it been since your heart really squeezed when you looked at him?...Why is it you have forgotten the things that attracted you to him at first?...Your husband needs to be told that you love him, that he is attractive to you. By the grace of God, I want you to start changing your thought pattern. Tomorrow morning, get your eyes off the toaster or the baby bottles long enough to LOOK at him. Don't you see the way his coat fits his shoulders? Look at his hands. Do you remember when just to look at his strong hands made your heart lift? Well, LOOK at him and remember. Then loose your tongue and tell him you love him. Will you ask the Lord to give you a sentimental, romantic, physical, in-love kind of love for your husband? He will do this."
-Shirley Rice


P.S. I know some people aren't in to Valentine's day, but I say bring on the Hallmark Holiday! Why not celebrate love in an extra special way for a day?C

the EnErGiZeR bunny and our A.bundant A.bba

As much as the I felt like the wolrd stopped and paused for two days, Ben was completely the opposite.
The second day he worked for 18 hours straight - and continued to work a crazy amount of hours for the next 3 days following as well. Plowing, salting, and de-icing is his specialty. Not only did he have the usual customers, but since snow blowers weren't working, the ice wasn't melting, and people didn't want to spend HOURS chipping away at the literal inches of ice, they called and waved down my husband continuously. He would be in the middle of one, get a call for one another, then be done with it and a neighbor or two would walk over and ask him to do theirs as well! It was insane. Pure insanity.
He was like the engergizer bunny - he kept going and going and going and going without seeing an end in sight all the way from early Wednesday morning at 3:30am until 2 am Sunday morning. I am so thankful for his hard work - I went with him here and there but had no where near his dedication to the job. What a hard-working man Ben is. He seized the opportunity God gave him.
The coolest part of the story to me is that our Father, our Abba, our Lord provided for us through all of this crazy weather and He provided ABUNDANTLY.
Just a week earlier Ben and I were talking about our finanaces. February was going to be tight, and I mean tight like we can't pay all of our bills tight. Ben didn't have a "back-up" plan for how we were going to make the money we needed for the month. There was nothing we could do - we were at the end of our financial rope - we could only cling to the Lord.
To be honest, I was EXCITED! I was SO excited that God was about to take us an adventure; an adventure of trusting Him. That we were going to get to see God move and provide for us some how some way because that is WHO our Papa is! He promises to take care of us, always! And I was excited to see just what He would do. God gave me peace that went far beyond the circumstance we found ourselves in.
Not one week after our conversation, BAM! God provided for us. 3 1/2 inches of pure ice on the ground, then snow on top of that with no sign of it melting. All within the first two days of February. Three days after the snow when we were supposed to get maybe an inch sprinkled on us, BAM! 4.5 inches were on the ground. TALK ABOUT ABUNDANTLY PROVIDING FOR HIS CHILDREN! ALL of this was in the first five days of February but perfectly on time.
Talk about something to continually praise the Lord for. He took care of us. In His grace and in His way He was faithful to His promise to us. Talk about something to grow our faith in! We serve a mighty God, a faithful God - a wonderful Creator. The Prince of Peace. The PROVIDER of our NEEDS.
I'm starting a journal on how God has provided for us abundantly, faithfully, over and over again even just in our one and a half years of marraige. Add that one to the books.

Resting and being taken care of by the faithful, loving, abundantly giving & providing Father,
B & J

i'll STOP! the world and melt with you

So, did you hear? God stopped the world for two days last week. Or at least the world of the people in the mid-west of the United States! Which includes us :) The damage: 3.5 inches of solid ice everywhere + rediculously cold tempuratures + 3 inches of snow = EMERGENCY TRAVEL ONLY. The roads were trecherous. Seriously, our world was an ice skating rink for those two days (and actually some parts continue to be even a week later!)
And while normally I like snow and cold until just around Christmas, I was actually quite thankful for the ice and snow last week. Also super thankful that I didn't have to drive/walk/move in it (poor Ben did though). I loved that there was enough to literally shut down schools and work everywhere pretty much for at least a day (or maybe two). I loved for just a moment our routine world wasn't so routine anymore. Two unscheduled days where nothing is planned and nothing really can be done was lovely. It was serene.
I got to relax, just be. Soak in some major couch time, do the things that I usually don't have time/make time for. I got to hang out with my husband the first day which was great as well. It was like a kiss on the cheak from the Lord to me. It just astounded me how the weather could just put a big PAUSE on almost everything. It was unlike anything I've experienced before.
I feel like God really gave me rest those days - spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. I got to ride around with Ben in his plow some so even then God provided really good times together. I think I needed it more than I knew at the time as things have been crazy with us - but He took care of me and I'm still praising Him for that a week later. Still praising Him for pressing PAUSE in our everyday, mid-west world.

Continuing to rest in His arms,
J

Call me CrAzY.

So there are some things I've realize just recently that I love, that people might think I'm crazy for. Nonetheless, I love them. I mean, they could be my part-time hobbies. But I think they're things that the Lord has created me to love, me individually. I thoroughly enjoy my time spent doing these weird things and that is worship to our Father. So.... I might be weird, but that's how God made me :)

Things I realize that I love that could be considered strange:

-Running & working out

-Cleaning

-Organizing

-Decluttering

-Excel spreadsheets

-Auditing

-Making to-do lists just to check them off

-Making my bed, everyday

-The Stairmaster

The end. For now.

Realizing what I love,
J

boiling chili + 20 minutes

This isn't the prettiest story about me, but it's real.
One night Ben and I were making dinner, I think our friends were in the kitchen with us as well. We were making chili - a favorite that Ben and I could eat everyday and usually end up eating 5 nights in a row :)
We were all hungry, but the way I make my chili it has to come to a boil and then simmer for 20 minutes. Well, Ben and one of our friends kept pressing me about the 20 minutes. Why? Why does it have to simmer? Why can't it be less time? If it just boiled why does it need to simmer? Why?
What did I feel? Pressure. On the spot. That they didn't trust my judgement/cooking skills. Cornered. Wrong.
So what did I do? I ignored them at first, which wasn't great. When it kept going, I did something else I'm not proud of. But honesty, right?
I don't know if you have ever experienced this, but do you remember ever having been out with your mom in public, or at someone else's house, and you do something that she wants you to stop? Have you experienced that look, the one where her eyes almost pop out, where she's gritting her teeth as if to say, "if you don't stop that THIS instant!" or "if you ask me one more time!" or "you better knock it off RIGHT NOW" You know that one? It's kind of like a silent threat, right? It's a look that is meant to cause immediate change in behavior. Well, that's the look that I gave Ben. And I'm his wife, not his mom. Yikes.
I was on the defensive. I felt like I was being attacked, like my cooking skills were being attacked. To explain why I did it a specific way would be to put my thoughts/opinions out there for them to contradict and for me to fail, even though I had done this 1000 times before and knew what I was talking about. I would be humiliated. Or at least, that's what I thought. Core issue: I was afraid to fail. I was afraid to be wrong. Even in front of a close friend AND my HUSBAND! (Come on, really, what human has seen me fail more than my husband? I mean, I do live with the man!)
That's something that I think the Lord has really been opening my eyes to lately - that I fear failure. It's silly, because A) I'm human and B) No one is exempt from failing. Buuut I like to make myself think that it is too humilitating to fail so I try to prevent myself from it at all costs. My human nature wants to prevent me from trying too hard if I might fail, from taking risks if I will fail - when I'm walking in the flesh that is what I am controlled by. Talk about an impossible goal that I WILL fail at!
God is graciously opening my eyes to areas in my life that I need to surrender to Him and then GO FOR IT regardless of the outcome. I am thankful for that. How much would I miss out on otherwise? Plus, I'm a fan of learning - how can I really learn all that I can without failing at times?
So maybe they shouldn't have hounded me, and maybe I was right about the simmering thing, but the core issue in my heart that caused my reaction wasn't right; and I definitely should have been in a place to graciously respond rather than foolishly react. The look I gave my husband in order to control him = not okay. Why are we as humans such control freaks over everything and everyone?! Good thing I married a gracious man who is willing to forgive :) and love me anyways.
So that's where I'm at. Learning about myself and what God wants to change in my life. What's He showing you? God is always speaking to our hearts, are we listening?

Striving to overcome fear of failure,
J

old story, new take

I have heard the story of Christmas ever since I can remember. I know that Jesus Christ, God's Son, concieved by the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin, who would be called Emmanuel (God with us), was born that day, and THAT is what we celebrate. Peace, joy, freedom came that day! Hope! Our Savior came to earth and was born! For you and for me, He came! To do the Father's will and bring glory to Him, to conquer sin and death once and for all for all of us. To bring us into a relationship with Himself. What an amazing miricle of God! Even as I write I am hesitant to go on, because I am truly in awe of that story, no matter how many times I have heard it or how many times I will hear it in the future.
Ben was reading the Christmas story again recently, in preparation for Christmas, after just coming back from a trip to California. Something he learned there is that if we are not applying what we read in God's Word daily to our everyday lives, then there isn't much point - the Word wasn't meant to just be another story, but something that changes our lives.
Sometimes it's hard to get new things out of stories that we've heard and applied so often. But as Ben was reading the Christmas story he got something else out of it - he closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to be the shepherds on the hillside that the angel appeared to. Can you imagine that? All of a sudden, out of the darkness, comes this bright angel! And after the angel comes a whole choir of angels appear! They must have been shaken up, hearts racing, excited to go see what in the world they were just told. Can you imagine being out on a cold night, maybe just going on a walk, when BAM the skies open up and angels appear?!
While Ben was imagining this, he asked God how this applied to his life, right now. And this is what he came up with: Having just been to California to see what relational discipleship looked like in all different ways with many different people, this was what the Lord had shown him - that being a disciple of Christ is the most real, most freeing thing to do with your life. That following Christ was really the abundant life. That helping others in their journey with Jesus is what our lives should be all about; our time, energies, efforts, finances, everything. THAT is what he had the opportunity to share with others, to share with people in our lives. The Lord had taught him this - the men that he encountered in California spurned him on to his life being about relational discipleship once again. He had this exciting news, this way of life, to help people that we love get excited about this life that God has called us to - this abundant life with Him.
This abundant life that He offers freely - the reason that He sent His Son to be born on the earth and one day die to free us from ourselves.

Thanks.Giving. Part 2: North Carolina

So even though traveling hours away multiple weekends isn't my favorite, I'm a big fan of the end result: being with people that you love.
The week before Thanksgiving we had my side's "Thanksgiving", and for the "real" Thanksgiving we were in North Carolina with Ben's brother, his family and a few others.
North Carolina has people that we love. It was a great weekend with Dave (Ben's older brother), Dana (his wife) and their four children. Meg, a great friend, and Dana's parents were also around for different parts of the long weekend. We also got to visit a while with Collin and Jinny, a couple that the Thacker family loves dearly. Not to mention Dave and Dana also had their pastor and his family over. The house was full, and sometimes less full, of people coming and going, and it was a great time. We played games, laughed, ate, decorated for Christmas, played with the kids, went to a tour of where some Lord-willing cabin sites will be for Collin & Jinny's continued ministry will take place in the mountains... So many fun things.
It was a great time to get away, to relax. To be with people that we love. To make memories and reflect on things that we are truly thankful for.
We went around the table to share what we were truly thankful for in the past year, and then prayed for those things. The "thing" I was thankful for? Ben. Ben's growth in the Lord. Ben's love for the Lord. Ben's determination to have true, meaningful, deep relationship with the Lord and those around him. His determination to do what is best for those that he loves - regardless of the cost. His growing love for God's Word. That he is everyday living life more God-centered and more God-focused and less self-centered and him focused. I am thankful that we have a bond as a married couple, but even more than that I am thankful for the bond that goes deeper: we are both tied to Jesus Christ. I am thankful that my husband and I share that which matters most. That our hearts, our lives are unified in Christ. They will be forever. I don't know if there's anything I could be more thankful for.

ThAnKsGiViNg - Pt 1: Chicagoland

This past weekend we headed to my parent's home outside of Chicago to have our first of 2 Thanksgivings; the first was with my side of the family. I am so thankful for the family that I am a part of, the family that God placed me in. God knew just what He was doing, as always. Sure, we're crazy, but we sure do know how to have a lot of fun when we're together!
We got together on Saturday to eat some amazing home-made grub. We all got to be together, which doesn't happen often since we live in a different state, and it was a blast. The party started at 2pm and lasted until after 11pm. We ate, played games, told stories, took pictures... We made memories, and I am so thankful for them.
Before dinner we started a new tradition: each person, kids included, say one thing that they are thankful for. It seems so simple, but it was a huge blessing and a sweet time of sharing. God can use even simple things like that to draw us closer to Him and to one another. It was precious.

Here's some pics of the day:

Ben & dad's favorite pastime - Chess


Turkey Prep


Whip cream in the mouth - our family specialty



This is us :)

living under guilt

According to dictionary.com, guilt is defined as, "a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined."

“Long-term, gospel-motivated obedience can only come from the grace of what Jesus has already done, not the guilt of what we must do.” -Tullian Tchividjian

So thankful for a God, for an Almighty Father that takes it all; One who I want to surrender all to; One who wants me to lay my burdens at His feet so He can set me free.
God doesn't motivate by guilt, He doesn't want us to be motivated by guilt, and He doesn't want us to motivate others by guilt. I used to and sometimes still do struggle with guilt until I realize that it is not from God and it can never be from God - I have to cling to that truth on a daily basis.
I no longer want to do things or function because of guilt I feel. I don't want to do things around the house or for Ben or for loved ones or in my church because I feel a guilt-led responsibilty to do it. I don't to be carrying around this guilt that I wasn't meant to carry, that I have been set free from.
Guilt, I am done living under your never-ending pressure. So done. Set free. So thankful.